Awkward man moments

Well for the guys out there,this should hit home 100%.So we all have had them since we came out of the womb.Yes that is right...boners.Well to be blunt in fact,the most common male problem is the AWKWARD BONER.Ladies I am sure you are laughing knowing your man gets them or your own babies while changing.Since in the light of it,being a baby and having some spring action happen whenever the fuck it happens.Is totally acceptable,now be a man and get a boner while someone talking to you and bam..your a fucking perv.So many of you guys have experienced this for the first time n school.You know when the teacher says..Billy come up and show the class where the capital of Alberta is.Mean while your thinking FUCK THAT.Then the teacher,because your ignoring them.Gets mad.But your sticking your ground,even when they threaten you with the office.Your still holding firm til that boner is GONE...One of the worst is jogging pants,cause an awkward boner can happen at anytime.Reading a book,playing football,wrestling with someone,laundry,playing with a kid.Fuck I even had one picking my nose once,it was like hello I will spring into action for you and help you pick.At the worst times they come,sometimes I be standing in line at a teller.She can be ugly as fuck or a dude,boom there he is.Then as I guys know it.Awkwardness kicks in cause you have paid and have a boner.So you try to make small talk for a second waiting for it to go away.If not a tail between the legs and walk.Sometimes you will get a full on salute just standing there minding your own business.Boom fucking boner in the worst place....a swimming pool.Wtf you supposed to do,not like you can hide a trouser snake with wet tight shorts.So yup stay in the water til it goes.Once I was in this fitness class certification course.17 girls and 2 guys.The other guy was gay,not that I care..But when a awkward boner comes.I find myself caring all of a sudden.Anyway it was my day to do a demonstration on my knowledge and ability to train someone else.Of course on hands experience.So as my name was coming up on the list I knew I was next.I was already feeling the ant eater growing inside my shorts.Then my name was called and I had a mini panick attack brought on by my awkward boner.So at this point he still just a chubby.I stand up thinking oh fuck please please stay down boy..Low and behold as I grab some girl to assist in squats.Bang,ding,boom boner.Now almost fully errect I am terrified thinking someone will notice.I do my best to stay behind her,but back turned towards the rest in class.So I litterally was sweating my bag off in panic.Then the worst possible thing.dum dum dum dom.She turned around and looked right at my cock.She smiled and said nice size,whispered she will do a few more so it will have time to go away.I was so fucking embarrassed,panic was in full mode,my face looked like a lobster.fucking unreal..So after class she comes up all kinda sucky,tells me her ex used to get them all the time and he told her how much it sucks they come out of no where.Told me I had a nice body and pointed below and then she asked me for drinks...she wanted..that is right an awkward boner.Of course I said no.I was still utterly terrified it happened.Drinks,pffft..I wanted to go home and beat the shit out of my cock,the fucking bastard.So embarrassed.So moral of this,is just cause a guy is walking hunched over,or walking like he got third leg,or guys you know this one...Get a boner and to full effect and have to tuck it behind waist of pants to hold it..Ha ha fuck wow..Yes ladies these moments suck,one I was in a store.I got like a full fledged boner.I was kinda walking all funny all tilted to the side.Security homed in on me and stopped me.They were like whats in your pants sir.I was rude off the hop,I was like did you see me steal,did I act like a thief.Fuck no,so fuck off.They repeated them selves.I said it is my cock fuck face,it is shaped like a dildo.You dont sell any,I was offended and a guy should have known that is a boner bulge.He was like your gonna have to come with us to the back.Listen here mother fucker I said.It is my cock.Would you like to see.Meanwhile there are 10 people watching as this 200 pound muscle tattoo guy is arguing about my trouser snake.Then I followed by raising my voice and saying your a dude,you never got a awkward fucking boner before.His light went on in his head and he says...oh I am so sorry Sir.You think fuckwad.Good thing they never tried to search me.They could of got bitten..Be nice to awkward boner sufferers ladies.Never know what that funny walk is covering.

Be groovy,Be stellar and be you

Rudi Jensen