Losing friends when starting a family

Weekly I get a tone of emails with questions about how,or why things happen or my opinion on things. Many new parents keep asking why friends and family seem less and less now they started their family. So much of what I am gonna write on this post is to me reality and will be for the average. And as we get older and wean out of our homes from mommy and daddy. We start our own lives,whether we start with friends or find a girl right away. See to me,friends,jobs and love come and go in life at any given rate it feels. And as we get older we start losing friends and family,yes I said family. Yes they are family,but in many cases just blood makes that. It may seem harsh.But alot of siblings just drift apart whether on purpose or just because. It is life whether we like it or not. We can never force ourselves apon someone's else's life. Not all families are super close which is sad of course. But also reality. Not everyone in society thinks like some people, that picture perfect family life is everywhere.. So of course I believe in strong ties and bonding in personal ways to connect with each other. We eventually if not tight with our family that raised us. Will fade as well and go their separate ways and not connect much. I dont like that shit,either we are family and gonna be tight. Or we have nothing but a small hi and bye here and there. To me this is fucking bullshit,blood is blood and should always be tight. There will always be family feuds and arguements,but just drifting away should never be present. As we start losing these people in our lives making our own. The more sidelined we are by others or the lack of interest someone shows us. The less we care about them and just move on. To me that is life now a days. Very few siblings all hang,talk or gather anymore,few friends from high school or College seem to be only on social media for chat. See the same goes for our friends in life when we announce fulltime lovers or children. We will always have movement around friends. Hanging with this one and then that one. As we start to make our families that tie fades also. Some of your friends are not ready for family life and will just natually fade away. Cause lets face it,when we start families.The majority of people grow up and stop partying. We get time consumed as family men and women. Some friends stick around and others just become associates and no longer have anything in common. Alot of the friends we grew up with or have as adults. We only have shit in common with them because we were free birds..,well then kids came. Boom party and play friends over...It is just a life pecking order. By all means I am not at all saying that friends wont stick around. Just alot dont in mass numbers. Me I am ok with that,not saying either that it is not nice to have a bunch of friends. But finding loyal,active people with the same interest is kinda hard as you get older. Myself I think that the older I get,the less time I have for excuses,friends that just wanna party or friends that share non of my interests. But as a family starts,I have less time myself.Right? So who cares? Right? Well yes and no. We as parents need that person to yap at,to get out for a weekend time. to feel like we have a life that has more then just children. And as life goes on this will effect alot of people deep down from having a super social life to not much of one. I try to teach people and my children that it is just life and like a car or box of cereal. It goes bad or falls apart and a new one is in order.. So as I also like to say to people is,that in life we have life partners. Exactly LIFE...is the key word. For many as we get older.All we have are our spouses to be our friends,lovers,shrinks,playtime and etc. Live for what you have and never worry about the rest. The best part about family is the bonding. Enjoy xoxo..Rudi Jensen

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