Feb. 26, 2018

Lost in everyday life

So hey I betcha this is gonna hit home to alot. Like to be blunt,fuck does life ever pull you through some nasty obstacle courses. Like really wtf did I ever do to deserve some of the struggles I have had in parenthood and growing up. Well non really,apparently it is a life learning fucking lesson. Which all my life listening to people say that. I always thought about punching them in the throat for it. Cause like really nobody determines your state of progress unless there is a job crunch. Fuck that I say,even if you are saving money and have a crunch. Sometimes things dont bounce back. Now your stuck drained in savings and stressing like there is no tomorrow. Believe me sure the fuck feels that way sometimes. Mind sets can just fall deep into a dark circle of spinning emotions. Of course paying bills we have all experienced this with our house holds. Now ok some are well off enough to never know this feeling and hence why they dont know the feeling or understand. So in life not everyone can live off credit cards pay day to pay day. So many people do and they dont really learn cause they have them. People who dont have the back up,well holy fuck that can destroy a man or women's mind fast. As we go on in this world I listen to people struggle and stress everyday. Some so much it seems every thought and breath is consumed by darkness entering the mind. Stressing over every day life is serious shit. We try and we know we try but our damn brains make us push for more. Sometimes too much for what we can do. Opening us up to blaming ourselves and pondering how to do better. Some processes in life you cant rush,building money does not just come on tree's. If that was the case,world hunger would not be a issue. Struggling dont make us weak or losers,dont make us bad people or messed up. Some have big families and living expenses out weigh the income of both or one. Life happens that way leaving many lost with in themselves. Whether you have children or no children,we still have bills and we still have rent. That alone can make us stress in too many ways. Then holy bloody hell now you got to worry about food that those two are out of the way. Now the way the world is going back and forth with the economy,shit any day any of us can be looking for work and homeless in seconds. So having that over your bloody head is a kick to the slapper. Now with all the gas,power going through the roof. And the imaginary dude that stuffs steak and chickens asses with diamonds over night for the 50% mark ups over night. So wondering when and where you will eat that juicy steak at affordable prices is always a burden to the mind. Mortgage rates and rental costs is a sleep night by night with some families. I know tones of people because of the building side going down and the oil business. All having to start new trades and go back to school. Fuck me that is rough as hell for anyone. Losing our minds is just gonna be part of life whether it bills,cars,food or relationships. So in some ways people telling us this young is correct to some degree. We always gonna have tough and rough times where we gonna lose our minds. I could sit here and tell you that everything be alright, but to be honest. How the fuck would I know,I worry what the fuck will happen with the world more then I worry about my next move. Being lost sucks,but we come and go with it. Shit the best thing and advice I could give anyone. Is to just live your life,make hours for you to stress and nothing past that...........
Example "5 pm to 5 am". Fuck I used to consume the whole day and night with bullshit stress thinking. Finding myself being lured into a lost mind. Thing I learned is after certain hours. Shit is closed so why the hell cant my mind be. Exactly,force the bastard I did. And let me tell you having 5 kids,house and bills and a whole pay check just for groceries. Fuck I know stress when it is time for some damn thing to break down in the home. Or on the vehicle,not like anything is cheap to fix anywhere. We all whether it for money,kids,relationships or work. Live life battles with in ourselves trying to compete with ourselves. Even if we have a semi perfect non struggle financial wise,many of us struggle about making other people happy. I used to be in the,I am still in the mode of "fuck your feelings' I wanna love myself before I love someone else stage. Now I never ever minded helping out another,but some people are just ungrateful fucks. And it cause more to my mind to watch someone who asked for advice just piss it away. I hate ask-holes,that is stressful sometimes if not alot. People will stress you out as finding the next meal or rent. I try not to let too many deep close to me anymore as people come and go. But a shallow, angry, hurtful, stressed and sad mind. Is not that easy to to come and go. Live your life and remember. Be yourself and dont let anyone take your thunder. Not even the tax man.. Rudi Jensen

Be groovy

Be stellar

and 

Always be

YOU....