How our hearts and minds change as our kids grow

I must say that having kids is a amazing feeling and comes with so many emotional ups and downs. No I dont mean all bad,huge amount of those are happy emotional battles. Proud moments that we have captured in our minds and hearts over the years. As they touch our hearts more and more. The more our hearts grow with fond memories of the little moments to the big one's. I must say over the years having 5 kids. They have each touched my heart differently in so many ways. They have made me so happy,frustrated and mad. They have inspired and taught me things. I will be the first parent to say. That my mind has been blown away by each one of them. I have some deep love and respect for my kids. I think all parents should look up to their kids in some ways. Respect for your children is a must,you can't expect your kids to respect you if you don't respect them. They have all grown to be such different little people. All have different attitudes from shy to get the fuck out of here. Some will rip your head off on a bad dayI have brainiacs,wtf happened there alot of us parents ask ourselves when this happens.. We all know we are smart,but some of our children will blow our minds. And of course we never give ourselves enough credit for it either. We just wonder what the fuck...But then we get to sit back and realize,we may not have been the smartest in school. But DAAAMN our kids sure are. I feel proud when I know I was part of the cause that made them who they are. It is a powerful moment inside to see our children respect, bond,love and connect the correct way. I love that in everyone of my kids,seeing some of my qualities and traits. Makes me very proud to be part of them. Sometimes I just stare across the room at them,and have a twinkle in my eye with a few happy tears. They get to us and deep into us,such a wonderful feeling. Sometimes not always wonderful,because as they learn about respect. They will tell us they hate us,wish we were dead,bad parents and mean. But whatever we all have did it. As I watch them grow up through school and through their own hardships and triumphs in life. It is quite the memorable experience with so many kids. You see so much from all different angles and perspectives. I have learned so much about kids in general. Now over the years and the older they get,you have to come to a sure fact in your mind. That one of them will leave the tree's nest and go be a monkey elsewhere. Every year I get closer to this in my house with one more leaving my watchfull eye. Scares the shit out of me every thought,I am not there to protect all the time. I know it comes with the fact they need to leave. Even though all the years kids are at home,your number one to them. But it is not always the case when they move out and find their own lives. Us parents will not be the center of the universe to them anymore. I am ok with that and not,I always wanna be close and open so they know they are loved. Loved dearly and having no doubt about it. I grew up and still as a adult never had mom or dad to tell me they love me. The pain it caused me I never wanted my kids to have to deal with. So they are constantly reminded that I love them. I am very close with my children,some more then others. We all have a bond and respect level that is very rare across families. And yes that is too brag,but also serious. Have met alot of families and I would wanna beat my kids and in others case's if I were the kid. I would so beat my loser dead beat parents up. Not all families are cool and have loving,bonded and are respectable to each other. My kids have broken my heart,twisted my mind in many ways. I have cried over my children and cried punishing myself for things said or done. "And really I can honstly say,nothing really bad" Having 5 kids that was bound to happen in all sense of being nuts having 5 in the first place. But that being said,they are still my kids and I love them. The older I get and the older they get,the more my bond,love,smiles and inspiration from them come to my heart. I never ever thought that something that I helped make could create such a intense feeling inside. The emotions,love powering through my body in moments that you could never pay for anywhere. Memories that are stuck like tattoo's in your mind. The family bond to me is a very solid and important in any family. Mine it was bred into them since the day they were born. Non of my family grew up respecting each other. The hell with that,it was going on in my house,really it never did. Very rarely have I had to deal with my kids as they got older. I do what I can for sports,most school functions or plays"prettyn much never miss anything". I think and recommend to all parents,keep your bond alive. Never let it fad away,not even when they move out. Remember love matters in a family,why have kids if you are eventually gonna give up on them and move on. If you dont have love for your kids,get the fuck out of here. I hate deadbeat parents,lazy,addictive or just plain assholes. Kids are our future and the need to be taught right. Who want a bunch of whiney snowflake kids,nobody. Every parent for the most part want a cool up to date kidlet. But let them be them,I dont care what color my kids date,what sex they are,if they are cool,geeky,nerdy,jock and etc. I will stomp,beat and smash any who knock them for their choices or preferences. I stand by all of them 500% and should you all with your children. Not sure about the rest of you,but my kids made my life get on track,made me learn to love,Learned to respect them and myself... Do your kids a honor,take them by surprsie and let them pick the day,let them be surprised by knowing something they love. And take them to do it by surprise. We can find ways to bond with our kids,all about wanting to..Rudi Jensen

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