Toxicity that drives our hearts

Well like the title says,toxicity is there so much in our lives. From works,friends and this post about relationships. We know he/she is so bad for us,we love them or care for them a great deal though. Now being toxic just never gets anyone anywhere,we try and remind ourselves. Kind of like wet farts,they feel so good to let it out. But it is a shit stain and that is all. We get dragged into deep worthless emotions,one's that prevent us from being strong and determined. The said toxicity is not just bad for our minds and heart. But for our health,stress takes a toll on us in so many ways. Being most of use binge eat or starve when stressed to the max. Forgiveness is rightgeous thing to do. But we need to forgive ourselves before we forgive another,only then we will be strong enough to do it. Shit I won't try to remain innocent,I have cried like a bloody waterfall over 2 birds before that just ripped my heart out and passed it around to cut up some more. So I know the pain of that and how hard it is to let go. Being with someone and having arguements is not toxic always. A daily screaming match is though in every way,scamming that loving partner you say you love daily. Well that is toxic in so many way,I am sorry so many need to do this to others. But seems life has turned into a bunch of "We don't care attitudes" which is so bad and toxic world wide on its own. Those that live in a toxic place know so well how it is to wake and prepare yourself for the best way to stay away from what comes daily. Apon waking the human eyes,we should not have to fight emotions from start to finish. We should not tip toe around,sometimes it is better to go to a friends or even a shelter if you can't get out. Toxic is not just battling over smacks,kicks,punches and etc. They range from control,bashing,playing,taking and controlling somemore. But for so many that love inside drives us to try more and more,even though the feeling of dying on the inside is strong. We will push and go out of our ways to bring smiles,laughter,gifts and more to bring out excitement for a better day and tomorrow. Most failing,not because of them. But what they have beside them,love is a constant battle. Whether it is flowing or flailing in the wind, it always needs attention to the greatest depths. Saying you have positive flow from you're toxic love while dealing with it,is like saying runny shit is easy to pick up. It really to be blunt especially if it has been years is not gonna change. I am sure most in many situations with toxic love. Dream and wish it will change,have had family and friends tell them it was no good.. but think the love they had in the beginning is what is gonna help the future. But is does not in any way,we can't look at love at the start when it has gone. And just think that things will be alright,they will cool down and come around. NO WAY. Pain is there and is strong and taking bits and pieces out of you daily. Hard it is,hard like a rock,even rocks don't hurt as much. I know that I dwelled for a while with one partner feeling low as ever. I was not controlled apparently how to dress,would just be mocked if I wore wrong thing. If I was dressing like a bum hooker,I would understand. But I never did and so many of those brought me to realize. I am fucking stellar without them and a fucked up individual with them. Obvious descision there is to run like Forest the fuck away.. I ran and got to end of block and forgot my tooth brush,but thought fuck it. She can keep it for memories.. No looking back is a must need in life. Don't beg for someone to treat you your worth,toxicity is everywhere now. If we allow it by one,then two,then three. We will have hit a pattern that will be devastating to the mind and heart.. So if you leave one,leave the next one sooner if it happens. All relationships need tweaked and need to be met half way. Not all go just one way,that is toxic. Live,love,learn and grow. Rudi Jensen

Be groovy

Be stellar

and always

Be YOU....