Losing my best friend"4 legged"

So much of you that read my work know that I still add things I wrote from other places. This write up is my beloved dog passed away years back do to Cancer. Well for so many reasons this dog was held close to my heart. When I had my first daugfhter I was still a bad ass hard core guy with not really many emotions up til then. I got the dog to learn how to have responsibilities,so I raised the dog to learn to become a dad. What hell the dog did for that time. So here is my memorial I did for my beloved Baby. I still to this day have not let another dog this close to me. Broke and severed my heart in unpatchable pieces. This was written in April 2009,if I were to rewrite it,would cause me a great deal of pain. I almost moved out of my house I was so crushed with memories. I carried her collar in my back pack for years.

So for those of you who know,very well know that I truly am different in so many ways..I love my children and my pets and my life a great deal. In my household our animals are truly unique with all there own characters....We have lost one dog 6 months ago that took a toll with our house. Now we have lost the most wonderful and most genuine member of our family BABY...I got baby in 1996 at the age of 3 months,see I never wanted a dog then..But I had my first child (Kiira) then. Her mom said I was a bad dad never let me see her,so I thought if I got a puppy and could raise that I could be a good dad. Well holey crap what a nightmare,for her first 6 months she would pee all over and poop.. She had this chewing the kitchen floor problem,she had eaten the linoleum one day,the next the under floating and the floor boards. When I gave her trouble she decided to eat a 6ft/4ft piece of the floor next. She would jump up on my girlfriend and pee in her lap cause she was jealous of her,was hilarious.. Baby was thee most play full and gentle dog,at the same time she was a very good guard dog..I taught baby to search and rescue,one day we were out on a quarter section of treed land up north and 2 kids went missing and baby found them with the same glow and smile she carried through the years...Baby spent her years learning many things and touching everyones life she came to be part of...I had to make the decision to put Baby down due to a cancer blowout,I have endured some painful situations in my life. This is the most painful thing I have ever had to deal with holding my beloved dog while some lady gave her the last breath and heart beat she would ever have. When I had Jazmyn 9 years ago and brought her home from the hospital she was so protective over her and just the beginning for the next 4 kids to come...She was just like having a friend,when you were sad she knew and would come and flip your hand to pet her or would get in your face and give a baby smile...Anyone who knows me knows how much this hurts me and will make a huge impact on my family. When it was time to pull the kayaks or the camping gear out Baby would wait like a little child wagging her tail knowing it was a weekend away. When we would get to the lake Baby would run to the water and walk out and float a swim in a circle and then come back to shore and lay down and just watch everyone like the sheep dog off cartoons. Some people out there won't understand why I write these notes of my deceased pets,but I say they are family and it is appreciation to what bond and love has been made. Some people have pets for a convenience,some let them become a whole in the house...That is our family,when I used to go fishing with baby she would land my fish. When they got close to shore she would jump in the water and carefully bite them and walk them in,for that I would give her a fish here and there...No matter how bad you felt in a day she would take that away...She was a very social dog to friends and family.. My kids will miss her dearly for that is all they knew for dog for years,they have all spent some very memorial times with Baby. I will miss walking down the stairs in the morning being by Baby's morning smile and bounce to say good morning dad. She would always wait patiently for the kids to see me when I got home from work and then pounce on me and lick me.. She had this little whine she did for me like almost a moan of satisfaction that I was home...She was so loyal she would always when given a treat or a plate of scrapes from supper look at me to see if it was ok....When she was a year old she had got parvo,I could not afford to take her to the vets. She got Parvo, so I spent a week nurturing her back to health,it was painstaking to watch but we made it. She went up and down and there was no interent like today. I researched the library to find natural ways to cure it. A total wreck I was over it. After this little time,she had grown on me so much with the love I had. I thought I never cared about anything at all. But I was a frantic wreck,but we made it. Few yeears later we were at the river during run off,she got swept in a current that was fast. There was no way I was watching my dog drown in the river. I walked out with all my strength trying to reach her,Baby staring at me with her life about to go. That stare made me lose it and reach more,I grabbed her barely by the side of face. Pulled her to me,we had a even greater bond after that. Baby had had 26 pups in her day,had been a very good mom...She had always been so gentle to every animal in our house but Tanner.. When I brought Tanner home,3 weeks later I was gonna change his name to Scarface cause Baby was ripping him apart daily...They turned out to grow into the best of friends and he fathered all her pups. They were the best of buds,after Tanner died it took Baby 3 months to get over him... True love it was,to to end this note I truly loved my Baby and could not of asked for a better dog,she was my friend and companion..She played a huge roll in my life from the huge spill my guts to her and her giving me that whatever look.. To just making you feel loved when she gathered her smile and soft gentle touch...I will dearly miss her for she has set a high standard of what a true loyal dog is.Now to my Baby I had the best 13 years of my life with you and will always think of you though out my days. I hope the doggy land you go to has lots of mice and water to play.. We will all cherish every memory we ever had with you. To endure all my feelings I have encountered over you being put down truly gives me the understanding of friendship,bond and love for you being a animal in our life. One thing I truly understand is the bond between ones canine friend and yourself is the most loyal and most bonded friendship anyone could have that truly last till death do you part...  Baby was loved as if she were a human and was interacted daily as a part of everyday Jensen life. I have found myself to be really emotional on her passing as if I had lost my best friend and loved one. To know that her greetings and smiles will be gone forever is just another lesson in life on how things can never go on forever. Love you Baby and will be part of you for ever...So sorry you could not be here forever Baby daddy loves you and will miss you....Now Tanner and you can go on in your other world...Good bye 

 Kid yourself not,rewriting this article made me cry like a baby for the whole thing. I think of her daily and still turnn to look at her on hikes. I hope one day I can be loved and give my love to another dog. For now I love my dog,but forever my heart was just for her. 

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Baby and I when I got her sitting on the rocks. I was 19 years old. Next picture is Baby in her element at the lake watching over like a sheep dog. Bottom picture is her famous pose for a selfie portrait.