Cart ditches

You will all know what I'm about to be talking about here and be able to relate. It is about as annoying as the person beside you chewing with their mouth open. Smack, choke, kick kinda thing.. Cart ditching or cart ditchers whatever you wanna call them. Them mother fuckers ditching carts in the middle of isle's while shopping. Usually cause someone thinks they are self entitled to do so. Like King Tut or King Mary shit. Pretty shitty when store is already crammed like cattle and Debbie downer leaves the cart right yapping on her Iphone beat boxing with another soccer mom. All while you walking behind them with your cart, slamming on your breaks, shoes or heels. Yup Debbie has no care, not like if she had a side mirror she would use it anyway. walking all broad shoulders strutting her soccer key tag. And we know these damn soccer mom's drive like they mean business. So really who knows What the fuck or how the fuck she thinks driving a cart. Right never know, cray cray does exist. Anyway this is horse piss as you know it, nothing to get totally angry about, but enough to make you think. Like why the fuck cant you put the cart to the side, not the middle. Use a left or right signal. Bike signals are free and wireless. But then we have mad Teds I like to call them in my head. These are the men that, yes their wives send them shopping while they getting toe juiced at the salon. So they all mad and shit racing like they belong on a track, slamming into shit and parking the cart. Doing a mad stomp like Godzilla while walking to their item leaving the cart blocking the isle. Usually all red faced and irritated. And by all means, like a soccer mom. Mad Teds can and should always be approached with caution. Yes distraught ha ha. So anyway its just one more annoying thing people tend to bitch about and do themselves. Not saying I dont park my cart, shit I put my basket on the floor to watch people play kick basket. Ha just kidding I put my shit to the side, cause to me.. I bloody hate it when someone does it to me, so I wont do it to them.. Now mad Teds are easy to notice in many ways, unlike the soccer mom with pinned up hair in a cap strutting a Iphone talking gazillion miles a minute. A mad Ted is not only racing around red faced, raging and all. But on the verge of blowing the last nerves and just snapping fucking off to Cabela's. Having had enough of the nonsense in the store. For the most part many people are respectable shopping and have etiquette in general. Even now with the banana and grass craze. Grocery store shopping is even more so a gong show. Just now you can strut a fuck you face whenever you want cause your mask. Anyway cart ditchers can be annoying when the store is jammed, I like to push the cart back a little out of the way. Just to see the panic on where the cart went. Ha ha right so funny, I call it store funnies. Try it sometime. I also like to say Sir or Ma'am you forgot your cart at the intersection while chikding are crossing. Yes for the wtf look, but they move it cause it is a soft burn. Sometimes you got to be blunt when you yourself also in a rush. But have manners, anyway sometimes you got to call them out. Dirty looks are just well like honking a horn, bla bla bla. Anyway enjoy your weekend shopping and remember the Christmas gong show is about to start. This being the worst cart ditching season ever. Rudi Jensen

Be groovy,

Be stellar,

and always

Be YOU...