Handling a death

So since my brother died I have received many messages on my advice on someone passing. Mostly how I dealt with it, I fucking haven't yet. And the what is the length of time to mourn, when to start getting rid of stuff and etc. Do I need to still talk to the others family and etc again. So well to be blunt.... I dont give a fuck if someone thinks you should mourn faster. Those who pressure you to do it. Well get rid of them first thing, see the thing is. We cant put a time on mourning in anyway at all. Not saying that some folks dont really lose themselves when someone passes. And need help moving on. But that is rare... For the most part, people mourn and move on again. Anyway the time to mourn all boils down to love, bond, respect, what the person was to you and dignity of the loved one and yourself. I am in no rush to ever move out a friends or lovers memories. That is just well.. fuck that. Who is anyone to say when to stop crying, thinking or mourning. Hell one of my best friends died almost 4 years ago. I still have a cry every other week. The memory is still alive and very well he might not be. But the memory is and in the end. That's all that matters. But when someone passes, we always have people who want and need us to get over it. Well screw them with a spiked shovel. Let the tears flow as long as needed, let no one tell you different. As for removing clothing, items of the house and banks and etc. Do as needed for yourself, not everyone broken heals the same. Some things are meant to be kept forever and some not. Kinda like people in life, some out wear their stay and use. I may look calm and collective since my brother passed almost 2 months ago. But to be frank, I am broken which seems beyond repair. Longing to hear, hug and hang out with again. It is something I never thought would happen. And being he is my only family I was raised with apart of me. It is like death became of my insides. I walk daily feeling lost and shaky, I cant reach out anymore for anything. I have some people who have said its only a brother. Needless to say that is a move fast before you get knocked around kinda thing to say to me. I believe everyone should take what they need. Hold on to what they want. And so be it if you have to leave the house with a fake ass smile to get through the day. We hold memories as they come in life and embrace them. Having no dead line to memories, we continue to hold each one tight. To me this is mourning and love for one. This is how one moves on, embracing memories that make them weaker and stronger. Making the will to come up and carry on with memories, not pain. There is no real answer to how one gets over, gets by or moves on. For each to their own, but all being different. Therefore embrace what you can keeping the memories strong as ever. Rudi Jensen