Losing old school underground soldiers

Over the course of the last 20 years. I have lost 23 friends due to biker wars,gang shoot outs and drug related murders. All family men and few women in there. Yes they were all my friends,brothers and bro's and all tight& bonded as ever. But comes a time and place as we get older where we must choose. To grow up or play 30 and 40 year old gangsters. And see what is at most important to us. Making a quick buck or having that loving family and safe sleeping. I will honestly say,I do miss a few things being one of above mentioned. But not as much as my family in my life now. I wonder daily when my other friends will get their shit together and move on. Explaining to our children that we were murdered over activities we could of avoided. Is not what I would of wanted my kids to hear. So I bow my head down to 2 more fellow old criminal soldiers.Rest in peace brothers.Life is safer and brighter now.