Inside the mind

Contemplating my own death,
Wondering uncertainty if any one truly cares.
Walking my days non existent from the outside world,..
What family?
What friends?
Dreading mornings,
Dreading days,
Dreading evenings,
Like it is a daily plague,
Always looking for ways to rise,
But fall drastically in it all.
Fatigued and down,
Tired and sore,
No help from under,
It is no wonder I shuffle my feet across floor..
My feelings so dark,

As most of the world all around,
Always bright,but with no bite.
Have the lights turned off?
Endless hours and days of darkness
lurking about.
Options are slimming
A positive insight is always welcome,
No more negativity as it will start a fight.
I might have failed,
I might have not.
But either way,
As I am treated,it is my best thought.
As everyone I know has bailed?

Haunted by past mistakes,
Many fallen sorrows,
A life where I have lost most of my morals trying to redeem myself,
Always someone wanting to me to fail,
By bringing out past times,
Making me start to crumble and all frail.
Seems all to real and non believable.

©Rudi Jensen